Well I don’t have any prescriptive advice, nor can I completely say that I have, but closure was obtained. The means was controversial but the result was extraordinary. I went to a John Edwards crossing-over kinda person and ensured that I was as sceptical as possible, even though I am not.
To say that the “coming” was accurate is a complete understatement. Names, places, emotions, histories, events current and past and everything in between reared their presence. It could only have been real and the amazing feeling that I had that I am being watched over was quite something, even for an atheist like me.
Since that day, I am not devastated to visit the graveyard, nor am I unable to reflect deeply on what could have been. The reason for this is that once the physical realisation that they are not actually gone, but merely physically departed, has set in, ones sadness is somewhat subdued due to the knowledge of their presence. In essence, they are still there, not just passively, but actively watching over you.
The replacement on the other hand, is much harder to come to terms with.
Desperate for Respiration 